Easy Life

Today I got up at 6 am to make pancakes, take a conference call, watch 20 minutes of TV with my kids, put on their shoes and then their dad took them to school. I followed by cooking chili while I'm on another conference call, then took 5 minutes to make some pumpkin dip. I had DVR on while I wrote a few pages for my work at the computer. My mom stopped for five minutes to by to bring by food she had made, even though she lives 25 minutes away.
 
This weekend and earlier today I was feeling overwhelmed at all that wasn't done. The dishes, the laundry, the cracks in the wall of our 100 year old home, the dusty floors. I was overwhelmed by getting dinner on the table between some really horrid tantrums (by both the kids and me). I want to figure out how to get it all done.  Building on that, I was subsequently overwhelmed by the sad beautiful writings by dedicated moms and dads I see posting on Facebook about their sick kids who are the same age as mine. I want to magic all those incomprehensible pains and fears away. I am frustrated with the conflict in my heart which wants to have it all figured out, but knowing in my head that doing that just isn't possible. I was overwhelmed, as I so often let myself get by the what isn't, that I forget what is.

Thankful does not even begin to express what I feel this month. I'm thankful for a dedicated, loving husband whose gifts are inspiring. I'm thankful for my two beautiful, healthy, joyful kids. I'm thankful for money enough to pay the bills and food enough to throw away leftovers in my fridge.  I'm thankful for this old home, oil to heat it and a new porch.  I'm thankful for a great job - especially since it's one that lets me work from home once a week, encourages us to seek new ways to close the gender gap and be innovative. I'm thankful for great medical care, wifi, iphones and two good cars. I'm thankful for a dog on my couch and cats on the chairs. I'm thankful for siblings who are a little weird and amazingly loving. I'm thankful for this easy, happy life.

I forget that I'm not the one who gave all this to myself; God did. I am pained that I can't make other people's problems - job loss, sick kids, financial troubles, war, abuse - go away; God can. I'm praying that I'll find a real way to make a difference to those people who don't have these same blessings I've been given... and that it will be obvious where I can best be used to serve. Again, I'm thankful for this easy, happy life... I just need to open my heart and mind so that I can realize how to best share these blessings with others.